How to purchase something from this site:

 

Music, novels, nonfiction books about the arts: Please purchase directly through the links on the pages or purchase a physical copy at a local retailer. We may also have copies of our work with us at gigs or readings. 

 

Copywriting services: An order form is available on the copywriting services page 

 

Classes and coaching in writing skills: 

College and university representatives: Reach out via email to arrange to add me to your school's adjunct pool and schedule courses. The address is: artistcafe315@gmail.com 

 

All other clients: Please fill out the order form available on the page

 

Classes for writers and other artists: coming soon 

 

 

Policies: 

Payment and billing: 

Novels, nonfiction books, and music must be paid for at the time of purchase. Online purchases may be made with the credit card, debit card, or other online payment method of your choice. In-person purchases must be made using a payment method accepted by the vendor. If you purchase something directly from us, we can only accept cash or Venmo @ArtistCafe315

Copywriting services fees are due upon acceptance of the second draft of the project. Additional drafts will be billed as additional articles. Payment must be made via Venmo @ArtistCafe315. Established universities and other businesses may pay via check. 

Cancelling a copywriting project after the first draft is written will incur a "kill fee" of 50% of the project's fee. 

Classes must be paid for via Venmo @ArtistCafe315. Established universities and other businesses may pay via check.

Clients are only responsible for the stated fees and for any expenses that are absolutely necessary in order to complete their project. These additional expenses will be agreed upon before the project begins. 

Clients are not responsible for any expenses that are not an agreed-upon component of their project. 

 

Frequently asked questions: 

1. Why should I hire you to write for me when I can just use AI?

Fans, customers, and clients are increasingly being driven away by AI content. Known as "AI slop," AI generated content is always noticeably lower in quality than anything a person with even a single year of professional writing experience would ever produce. Using AI slop on your webpage further sends the message that you don't care enough about the people who visit to take the time or spend the money to provide something better. This tends to put people off, losing you much more revenue in sales and support than you would ever spend on writing services. I regularly check the job ads for businesses looking for freelance writers, side hustles, and material for articles. Most job ads for writers are from companies desperate to have someone come in and fix their AI slop. Save yourself some time and money by just hiring me or another local writer in the first place. 

 

2. Can't I just do my own writing?

If you can write well, you certainly can. But do you want to? Writing strong copy requires hours of research, writing, revision, and editing. If writing isn't your primary art form, or if it is, but you prefer to focus exclusively on your poetry, novels, short stories, or song lyrics, spending your time writing content for your website will cut into the time you have for writing you want to do. 

 

3. What are your qualifications as a writer?

I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Theater with a minor in Psychology and a Master of Arts in Creative Writing and Literature. I worked as a reporter for ten years and have spent the last eleven years teaching writing classes to adults online and offline. I have written drafts of several novels, with one finalized and available for purchase and one in progress, blogged professionally, and tutored both adults and children over the course of my writing career. 

 

4. What if my topic or platform is adults-only (NSFW)? 

Respect and discretion are assured. As long as everyone involved in the project from research to writing to marketing and promotion is a consenting adult, I will consider adults-only writing assignments. 

 

5. Is there anything you refuse to write?

I will not write anything illegal or anything that promotes illegal activity. Writing projects designed to help you cheat, whether that be in school by writing your paper for you, or on your partner, by writing your personal ad, will be rejected. While I will gladly work with Christians and non-Christians, I will not create material that denies, mocks, or insults Jesus or promotes any new age practices or beliefs. I reserve the right to reject projects for any other reason as well. 

 

6. Aren't you a teacher? I thought I saw you on a local campus?

If you saw me on a local campus, that means the school is my client. They've hired me to teach some writing classes for a term. When an independent artist teaches for a college or university, the school adds the artist to their adjunct pool, making them an employee on paper. This allows them to issue the person things like keys and handbooks but does not carry with it the full privileges of being a faculty member.  Colleges and universities are actually great clients to have, as they also pay you from their payroll, saving you the work of deducting your own taxes. 

 

7. What if I want a service listed here, but I can't afford it? 

Keep checking the page for discounts and specials.